5 Questions to Ask Yourself before Giving Your Ex a Sec...
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By Kevin Michel/Posted: Nov 3 2014
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5 Questions to Ask Yourself before Giving Your Ex a Second Chance

If you’ve been thinking about your ex a lot lately, you might be thinking about giving
them a second chance. However, if you’re too hasty, you might not make the right
decision. There are several things you should consider before you decide to jump back
into the relationship.

1. What Caused Your Break Up?

Take the time to remind yourself of the reasons you broke up in the first place. They say time heals all wounds, but when it comes to getting back together, sometimes it’s important to rehash them.

If your ex cheated on you or was abusive toward you, you shouldn’t even consider giving that relationship a second chance.

2. Can You Cross That Bridge Again?

If it was a mutual breakup or if things ended on a positive note, it’s possible to rekindle the relationship. However, if things ended badly, rebuilding that burnt bridge require some effort. If you think either of you didn’t try hard enough, and didn’t give the relationship enough of a chance, maybe you should try again.

If you decide to give it another go, you have to make the new relationship, a whole new beginning and start fresh, leaving the past in the past. But, if past feuds and arguments are constantly being thrown in each other’s face, your relationship will end the same way it did before, in a breakup.

3. What Was Your Relationship Like?

Were you having fun more than you were arguing? If you had more good times than
bad, giving an ex a second chance might give you both the opportunity to make the relationship work. But, if things were rocky at best before, they probably won’t be any
better this time around.

4. Why Do You Want to Get Back Together?

Are you both interested in getting back together out of genuine love for each other, or do either one of you have ulterior motives? If either of you haven’t dated since you were together, it might be just that you both want to feel secure in a relationship again.

If you saw your ex with another girl or boy and you’re feeling jealous, it’s not necessarily the relationship you want back. Maybe you don’t really want to get back together, but you also don’t like the idea of seeing them with someone else.

If you’re both interested in the relationship because after some time apart you’ve decided that you’re right for each other, then it’s worth pursuing. But, if there is a possibility that either of you is acting out of jealousy or a need for comfort, it’s best to just leave things the way they are.

5. Did You Stay Friends?

If you were able to remain friends after the breakup, you’ll still have a connection with each other. However, if you weren’t able to continue with even a friendship, then you’ll have to work harder to re-create the bond you once had.

After time apart, sometimes it’s hard to get back on the same page with someone. You will have both moved on with your lives and the connection between you may have been lost. If you weren’t able to maintain a friendship, think about why you weren’t. Trying to maintain a relationship with someone you couldn’t maintain a friendship with will take a great deal of effort.

The only person who can decide if you should give your ex a second chance is you. If you think the benefits far outweigh the cons give it a go, and if not, don’t. The most important thing is to follow your heart and listen to the little voice in your head. They’ll help steer you in the right direction.

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Comments (11)
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DominatPanda  - My girlfriend was abusive and we got back together. Things are much better now and she knows I won't take being hit or bit like that anymore. - May 5 2017 - Like
Caspirleaf   - My ex left me because I wouldn't let his friends harass me and I told him if he keeps hitting me I'll report him for domestic abuse - Feb 11 2017 - Like
ih8yurn_  - My ex broke up with me cause he thought I didn't trust him but that was cause he was saying he wanted to hang with girls and it looked suspicious to me - Nov 10 2014 - Like
helldroppr  - You split for a reason. Going back isn't going to resolve things, only address that weak point. - Nov 9 2014 - Like
Caylum  - my ex broke up with me because she thought she was hurting me (she was working through some stuff at the time and still is) once thats over if she wanted to get back together i would give it alot of thought. it all depends on how it ended and why - Nov 9 2014 - Like
Cuddle-Me-Em  - No, no, no.....you broke up for a reason. There was a fundamental flaw in your relationship that couldn't be worked through. I've been there, and I plead with you all - never, ever go back to an ex! - Nov 8 2014 - Like
Cuddle-Me-Em  - No, no, no.....you broke up for a reason. There was a fundamental flaw in your relationship that couldn't be worked through. I've been there, and I plead with you all - never, ever go back to an ex! - Nov 8 2014 - Like
CM Andrew  - I want to get back with my ex but her and I are down right awkward with each other. Please help. - Nov 6 2014 - Like
lannacool  - so not true if you break up with them then maybe they could get a second chance because everyone needs a second chance - Nov 3 2014 - Like
IIIIMOIIII  - I disagree. One you break up you can't go back, you broke up for a reason. Ohh and speaking from experience, it always ends up worse at the second break up. - Nov 3 2014 - Like
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