When a relationship is new everything feels perfect and exciting, and sometimes even magical. You picture yourself being with your special guy forever, but then reality hits and you realize it just isn’t working out. If the sizzle in your relationship has fizzled out, these tips will help you break up with him without crushing his ego.
Wait until after School
Breaking up with him first thing in the morning or during school hours will get his day off to a horrible start. He could have tests that day and if his mind is on the break-up, he won’t focus properly.
Instead, break up with him later, when the two of you can really talk about the relationship and why it didn’t work. That way he’ll have time to talk it over with his friends as well.
Actually Talk to Him
Don’t call him on the phone or send a text or an email. If you cared enough to date him, you should respect him enough to break up with him in person. Surely, you owe him more than the time it takes to type "It’s over." Think about how you would feel if you were the one receiving that two-word text.
If you’re nervous or hesitant about having the conversation, maybe you aren’t really ready to break up with him in the first place.
Make Sure YOU Tell Him
Always make sure that your boyfriend hears it from you before he hears it from anybody else, even if that means keeping it quiet from your closest friends until it’s done. Nothing’s worse than having one of your friends tell you that they’re sorry to hear things didn’t work out, when you didn’t even realize there was a problem.
Don’t Be Catty
While you might want to use this moment to tell him everything he did wrong in the relationship, don’t. Some guys don’t always like to show their sensitive side, but they have one. He’s going to feel down enough about the break-up and you don’t need to bring him down even further.
Say something positive about him, and then tell him that you have some things you have to think through and that you can’t handle that and being in a relationship now, or something like that. That way it’s more about you and less about him, and it also spares his feelings.
Listen to Him
Listen to everything he has to say about the situation. He might be feeling quite emotional, so don’t argue with him or feel like you should defend yourself against anything he says. He doesn’t want your advice, and he doesn’t want your opinion. As much as you’d like to, you can’t tell him how to feel. The only thing he needs you to do is sit there and listen quietly while he talks.
You may find that he has some insightful information that will make you feel comfortable with continuing the relationship. However, if you’ve made up your mind that the relationship is definitely over, you need to make that clear, and let him know that there is no way that you can work it out.
Cut the Ties That Bind
After the break-up, put yourself under a self-imposed no contact order for at least a month or two until you get used to the idea that you aren’t together anymore. If you think you’ll feel tempted to call or text him, remove him from your cellphone contacts. The only place you should see him during this time is at school.
By making a clean break and taking some time to yourself, it will be easier for you to move on with your life. It will also make it easier for him to get over you faster. If you’re constantly texting or calling him, it could send him mixed messages, leaving him even more confused.
Did you break up with your boyfriend recently, or did your girlfriend break up with you? Is there anything you wish she, or you, would have done differently?