It sucks when your parents don’t like your friends, let alone your best friends. The thing is, your parent’s worry about you and want what’s best for you. It’s only natural that as you get older and your friends have more influence over you than they do, they’ll become concerned. When your parents hate your best friend, try these tips to smooth it all out and make the situation easier for everyone involved.
Monitor the Situation
If your parents are able to keep their feelings about your friend to themselves when your friend is around, you may not need to do much about the situation other than try to reassure them. However, if your parents are being rude or making your friend feel uncomfortable you’re going to want to address the situation head-on.
Find out Why They Don’t Like Your Friend
Sit them down and talk to them, and explain how it makes both you and your friend feel. Ask them what it is in particular about your friend that they don’t like. Listen to what they have to say, keeping in mind that they only have your best interests at heart. Don’t interrupt them while they are talking or get defensive. It’s important to give them a chance to air their grievances.
Respond to Their Issues
After you’ve heard and understood your parent’s concerns, repeat them back to them to make sure you’re clear on exactly what they are, and then reassure them. Many times parents worry because they are afraid that your friend’s situation might influence you.
For example, if your friend dropped out of school to work full-time, say, "You’re concerned because they dropped out of school to go to work. I understand that, but you don’t need to worry. I have no intentions of dropping out of school because I intend to continue my education until I graduate and/or go to college."
Or, if your friend moved out of their parent’s home and into an apartment at a young age, your parent might be concerned that you will follow suit. Say something like, "You're concerned because you’re afraid I might move out of the house and into their apartment. I’m not going to do that. I like living here, and not having bills. My friend has a lot of responsibility and had to become an adult at a young age. I want to stay a kid for as long as I can."
You can apply this to any situation. That little bit acknowledgement of their concerns along with some encouragement will let your parents know that you understand where they are coming from, but that you aren’t by someone else’s situation.
Talk Your Friend Up
Talk up all of your friends best points and make sure you let your parents know all of your friend’s best points. Parents can only judge your friend based on the traits they know about. If they don’t see anything else, they can’t possibly know all of the wonderful things about your friend.
If you share their accomplishments and strong points with your parents, they may come to see that your friend isn’t such a bad person after all.
Talk to Your Friend
If the reason your parents don’t like your friend is something that can easily be remedied, talk to your friend. Sometimes it’s something as simple as they never smile, or they don’t talk, or they seem sneaky because they stand in the corner and lurk, or they swear too much, or even that they just simply talk too much.
Chances are your friend has noticed that your parents don’t like them because they’ve probably felt the tension when they’re at your house. If you tell them what it is that bothers your parents, chances are they’ll be willing to put forth some effort to gain your parent’s trust and confidence.