Nobody likes being told what to do, but sometimes some parents are a little bit too controlling. If you feel like your parents have too tight of a hold on you, these tips might help you get out from under the reins.
Are They Too Controlling?
You might feel like your parents are pushing the envelope when it comes to telling you what to do. But, they might just be doing their job, being concerned parents. If your parents are telling you what time to come home, that’s normal. If they’re calling you every five minutes while you’re out to see where you are or who you’re with, it’s overly controlling.
If they’re telling you that you can’t go somewhere because they heard it has a bad reputation, that’s being a concerned parent. If they’re dictating who you can and cannot talk to, it might be a different story.
Talk to Your Parents
Explain your concerns to them, and that you feel that they’re focusing on too many areas of your life. Try not to use the word "controlling" because it will automatically get their backs up and send them into a tailspin. By using words like focusing and watching you’ll keep it neutral, so they won’t feel like they have to go on the defensive.
Ask Them to Express Their Concerns
Believe it or not, sometimes when parents are controlling it has nothing at all to do with you. It could be about something that happened to a friend of theirs when they were young, or even something that they saw on TV or read about in a book.
By getting that one piece of information, you’ll hopefully be able to put their mind at ease, and them know that they don’t need to worry about that with you.
Find a Compromise
Rather than calling you and embarrassing you in front of your friends 50 times a night, maybe they would settle for you calling home at certain times to check in. You can just go to the bathroom and make your call, and your friends will never know. If it’s only a phone call here and there, you probably won’t care if your friends know anyway.
If your parents won’t agree to that, try to meet somewhere in the middle, like you’ll call them once at a set-up time, and they can call you once spontaneously. By agreeing to the spontaneous phone call you’re reminding them that there’s nothing to worry about because you’re not worried about them calling at a bad time and catching you off guard.
Talk to a Counselor
If you feel like your home life is a prison, and you barely get time off for good behavior, you should talk to a counselor or a close family friend. They’ll either be able to reassure you that your parents are just doing their job, or talk to your parents and get them to loosen the reins a bit.
In either case, it will help you both understand each other better and get you one step closer to getting your situation under control.
Most parents aren’t too controlling in this day and age, but there are some that rule their household with an iron fist and dictate who their children can talk to. If you’re living in this situation, and you feel like you can safely talk to your parents, use that as your first strategy. If you don’t, talk to a counselor as soon as possible.
Do know someone who lives with a controlling parent? How has it affected their life?