Need answers about my ex's behaviour - Forums - Feedback & Suggestions
Beka_Is_Here, White Bear Lake, 17 - total posts: 5
So a couple weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me. It was on our 4 month anniversary and I was gonna go to his swim meet later that day. He walked up to me and put his hand on my back, while acting obviously nervious, he said. "I'm not good with these types of things..." he muttered. I of course was thinking that he was gonna breakup with me but i wouldnt think he would do that to me at least not that day. (This was also finals week) i asked what was wrong. He said. "You are a great girl..." i stopped dead in my tracks and started crying. I new exactly what he was doing. "...and i love you alot, but i think we should just be friends.." i asked him why and he just said "there is alot going on right now" up to this point we had some ups and downs in the relationship but we worked it out and we were really close emotionally and physically and he was opening up to me about his feelings and I had finally let myself think, hey, i might have a future with this guy. We were making plans to go out, he made promises for valentines and the future. All that went away in an instant. I thought, it must all be lies. I ran off. Later we messaged each other, i was looking for answers. He said it wasnt another girl or anything but he wouldnt tell me what it was because he didnt want to worry me. He then had a bad night and vented to me that he didnt care about himself anymore and didnt want to take care of himself. I made him promise not to do anything stupid and then cut off contact because turns out only a week and and half later he got into a relationship with some girl who pursued him imediantly after he dumped me. I heard from his friends that he was pushing ppl away, blowing up, making dumbass decisions, and threatened to hurt himself, im worried about him. Now that valentines past and its been a while I've had alot of time to process things. I still dont know if all the promises and i love yous and i want yous and the intimacy between us was false or if he us running away from something. He has always been more distant emotionally but in the weeks leading up to him dumping me we were making alot of progress and growing closer and i thought i knew for sure he loved me. He broke my heart but i still love him. His new gf is also extremely clingy (which is something i know he hates as i was a little bit clingy in the beginning of our relationship but tgen backed off and gave him space) and is a fiend always asking for things and begging for attention from anyone she can. She also has a history of cheating and starting fights. I dont understand why he would lower himself to this level. He deserves better. He is so sweet and generous and cares about ppl, he is also insecure about what other ppl think, now he is just acting like he doesnt give a *** at all about anyone or anything. I just want to understand whats going on in his head right now or why he is doing all this. I need answers. Any guys know what us going on here? Why he is doing this? Are the things he said to me lies or what is going on? I'll answer any questions if it might help figure out whats up with him because i just want him to be ok - Feb 15 2019
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9871ZzX, Dallas, 18 - total posts: 80
What he said before were probably not lies, I can tell you that.

But there's probably more to this situation than you know about. He's probably keeping something inside that's eating away at him and he's just given up. I've done something sort of similar for that reason, in that I distanced myself from everyone. It also might be that he doesn't feel that he deserves you, as insecurity and low self esteem often go hand in hand. - Feb 15 2019
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Beka_Is_Here, White Bear Lake, 17 - total posts: 5
Thank you so much for a response, what do you think would be the best thing to do then if that is the case? I was thinking about asking him to just be friends again in a week or so and approach him in person to ask instead of just messaging him about it because we go to the same school. - Feb 15 2019
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9871ZzX, Dallas, 18 - total posts: 80
Well, that could work, but if you do, and he's fine with being friends, make sure to still show him that you care about him )presumably a lot) even though you'll have to do so in different ways than before. That's the best advice I can give you, since that's what did the most to get me out of a mindset like that. (I am again now, to a large extent, but that's a story of its own) - Feb 15 2019
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Beka_Is_Here, White Bear Lake, 17 - total posts: 5
Ok thank you for the insight
 
- Feb 15 2019
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Alexei_W., Montreal, 17 - total posts: 8
This happened to me.( A girl dumped me). Later I found out that she went GAY. take that into consideration - Feb 24 2019
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Alexei_W., Montreal, 17 - total posts: 8
This happened to me.( A girl dumped me). Later I found out that she went GAY. take that into consideration
Fun times - Feb 24 2019
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Beka_Is_Here, White Bear Lake, 17 - total posts: 5
Yeah me and a few friends suspected maybe he wasn't willing to go the extra step and ended things because he is gay and just trying to date girls anyway. But who knows at this point - Mar 24 2019
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